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Kickflip182

Let the Wookie win.
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The Ladder

4 min read
First off, let me just mention that I haven't been on this website for quite some time. If my last journal entry is anything to go by, its been about 5 years (maybe more) since I've been here. We're about to hit 2018 and I literally have nothing to show for it. Well, except a cool RGB keyboard, but that's about it.

The reason why I wanted to post something is because I just saw Jacob's Ladder. I realize it came out in 1990 and it's one of the films that one of my favorite game series took inspiration from (Silent Hill) one would think I would have seen it sooner, but alas, Hulu came through with their movie night suggestions. 

Please note, I'm going to be delving into spoiler territory, so tread lightly.

Jacob's Ladder is a movie of a dying man's last attempt to cling to life. Or at least that's how I interpret it, anyway. While watching the film, the different places and scenarios our protagonist, Jacob, finds himself in are so vivid and real that it's near indiscernible to tell which world is real and which is fake. In the end, it appears that Jacob was dying from a wound sustained in Vietnam and was on the operating table fighting for his life until he makes peace with the idea he's dying. Hell, we're even told by several characters that Jacob is dead and there's no other logic to the things that Jacob is seeing. Jacob is haunted by visions of monsters, horrific imagery and shrouded with heavy paranoia. The only time he's not in danger of losing his shit is when he's with his chiropractor, who could also be acting as Jacob's subconscious. He even tells Jacob that Demons and Angels are one in the same, it just depends on how you perceive them; Are they demons looking to drag you to Hell or Angels bringing you to Heaven? Once that question is posed to Jacob and after a lofty conversation with a drug-dealer turned army-chemist, he accepts the fact that he is a dead man and lets go of what life he had left in him. One more note about the chiropractor, Jacob jokes that he looks like an angel, and the camera's point of view makes his operation light look like a halo; there's no lacking in visual hints in this film.

The thing about this movie that really got me was that I was so sure that his life with his new girlfriend was the real world. It wasn't. It was his escape from the fact he just got stabbed, his way of dealing with the things he regrets in his life. He wasn't ready to die so he hung on. The reason I bring this up is my perception of this movie. I truly thought he was alive in his shitty apartment, but in a film where nothing is discernible as truth, then that means I chose for myself which reality was his true reality. I ended up being wrong, which gave me a huge "what the fuck" moment, but that's a huge reason why I really enjoyed this film. It was suspenseful, well-acted (for an early 90's movie) and visually interesting. I got giddy when I saw the hospital hallway scene and got treated to a lot of weird shit. 

I don't have much else to say about this movie for now. I loved it and do recommend seeing it if you haven't already.

Have a good one and I'll catch you next time.
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So some stuff has been happening lately, and I can't really talk about it, but I just want you to know that I'm super stoked about it.
Though, due to this happening, I might not be able to go to Anime Expo this summer! Oh well, there's always next year.

I also got a chance to see August Burns Red, recently. It was lots of fun, and I went with my band mates. I even ran into an old friend there!

As far as DJing goes, I still have the anime convention coming up. I'm excited to perform there, and I can't wait to get into the DJ vibe again!

Also, if you've been following my DJing/electronic music, you know that I've retired the alias DARKICEXIII. I'm just known by my own name, because I want to keep all of my endeavors centralized to one name, rather than be spread out over so many aliases.
So if you want to keep up to date with my happenings, like my facebook page: www.facebook.com/pages/Brandon…

And that's all I have to say for now. Until next time, friends!

-Brandon
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So I haven't written a journal in a long time. Thought I'd write one really quick before I leave!

Who ever seems to be following my page, you know I haven't really posted anything much, save for the recent photo.  There's a reason for that! I've been writing music and DJing for the last year, but lately the DJ thing has gotten a bit more serious, so I've been getting gigs and that takes up a lot of my time. I actually have one tonight, so we'll see how that goes!

If you want to see the small video I put up from my last gig, check it out here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7UHKr…

But I'm also in a band now, so that doubly takes up as much time. I had to put the voice acting on hold for a while just because all my time is being eaten up by the music, but that's where the passion is for me, so its a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Just thought I'd give an update to anyone that wanted to know. Until next time, ciao!
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I've been doing some thinking for the passed hour or so, and I realized something. I always knew it, but it finally hit me like a fucking freight train.

I can do anything I want.

I realized it when I was looking up classes online for a nearby college campus. I graduated high school about two years ago, and I've been working on and off since then. I thought it was about time for me to get back to studying, but for what? I really want to become involved in the film industry somehow (behind the camera), and I also want to become a better voice actor. So, I decided to have a look at the nearby college's website.

I took a look at the A-Z list of all the available classes, and I was shocked to see the massive list. Any possible career choice, there is a class for it. I was drooling with anticipation, wondering, what would it be like to take this one? Or that one? Or these four classes? I got carried away going through the list. I'm going to call their office in the morning and see what I have to do to get started.

Though, there are a few things that bother me.

1). Cost. My primary concern. I can't take a class if I don't have enough money! The only way I'd be able to take a class is to take a student loan! I hate taking loans! I don't want to be paying off a debt I owe for the next five years!

2). Basics. Do I really need to take more math and science classes? I mean, high school wasn't enough to prove that I'm not a total dumb ass? Seriously, let me have the classes I actually want! I'm giving you money for them!

3). Transportation. I mean, depending on when my classes are, I'm going to take different methods of transportation. And before you wonder any more, no, I don't have my license or a car. Sad for a nineteen-year-old, isn't it? So I'm down to rides from friends or the bus. And neither are available 24/7.

If I can figure out a way through my issues with taking classes, I'll be golden. I'll find out more when I make that phone call.

So, let me ask: What are your career choices?
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It's a difficult thing to do, especially if you have a ton, like me. Its a little overwhelming sometimes, but I just wouldn't want to give any of them up! I love making music, mixing music, filming, voice acting, making videos, drawing (sometimes), and then after all that, sharing it!

But for now, I'll focus on the DJ stuff. I'm starting to get noticed a little bit in this city, which kinda sucks now, because I'm moving. But even though I'm moving, I'm starting to get invitations to perform here even after I move. I'm so stoked! I love mixing tunes together, and messing around with my audience. It's all about having fun whenever you're on stage. I just sort of get into it; entering this euphoric state of mind where it's only you, your friends and the music, and you don't give a fuck about who's doing what! You could be dancing the most absurd dance, and you'd get cheered on! It's brilliant. I love it. When I DJ, I feel like everyone's friends with each other for those couple of hours (or 15-30 minutes) and everything is just so warm.

I feel so god damned good when I'm up there!
This is going to be a hobby I stick with for a very long time.

Well, anyways, as far as upcoming performances, I just have Open Mic Nights to look forward to, and a tentative show I'm opening up for in March. Hope it works out, I'm REALLY hoping that March show happens!

End of rant or...what ever this is.
Have fun, stay safe, and remember;
Drop beats, not bombs!
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